Chapter 1

The sun glimmered off the newly polished roof of a bright blue SUV as it passed by. It had been clear and sunny for quite a few days and the weather report seemed to indicate that the next week would not break this trend. Jeff put a cigarette in his mouth and once secured began fumbling around his pockets for a light. He checked his pants pockets, a pair of light khaki colored chinos, next his coat, a long dark grey trench coat, which had more pockets then he could fill on a busy day. The search was proving futile when she strolled in front of him. At first she appeared to be looking in the window of the store he was standing in front of, a popular shoe store filled with bored housewives whose kids had been left with their respective nannies and/or daycare centers. She glanced in the window for a moment before turning her sight on Jeff.

"Need a light?" a soft voice asked. The bottom of her red dress danced as a smooth breeze passed by.
"Thanks," Jeff smiled as he tipped the brim of his dark top hat.

She removed a small translucent lighter from her jacket pocket and held it up to his cigarette. A delicate, red nailed, finger pressed down on the switch igniting a tiny flame outward into Jeff's cigarette. With a single breath he filled his lungs with chemical filled delight as the nicotine raced through his system relaxing the pleasure centers of his brain. He pointed his head up and took another slower, deeper drag, this time allowing his lungs to fill up completely.

“Thanks, again,” he said with another of his patented smiles.
“My pleasure,” The woman replied, her long red dress still dancing in the wind. She removed a pack from her pocket, removed a single long thin white stick, placed it between her lips and with the same gentle motion lit the cigarette. The two stood next to each other for a few moments lost in thought as traffic and people moved past them, preoccupied with their busy lives. Jeff glanced at the woman in-between drags. She was tall, at least 5’8”, slim with perfect curves. Her red dress, partial covered by a dark red jacket concealing the upper half, but her physique was undeniable. A pair of semi-dark sunglasses hid her eyes from the world, but it was obvious that she was attractive. Not stunning, drop dead beautiful, but attractive, Jeff noted to himself.

“Lovely day, isn’t it,” Jeff decided to break the ice.
“Unseasonably,” was the reply.
“Are you expecting another snowstorm?”
“It’s not impossible,” she seemed to raise an eyebrow with the answer.
“I prefer the fall myself.”
“Hmmm…” she paused for a long moment, “Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Camus wrote it. He was a strong believer in the symmetry of all things. It’s obvious in many of his works.”
“Don’t really know much about it.”
“I imagine you wouldn’t. Not that I’m saying your dumb or anything.”
“Thanks, I think…”

Pulling the last drag on her cigarette, the lady in red walked off. The encounter mulled around inside Jeff’s mind for a while as he lit his second cigarette with the matches he had just found. The smoke continued to fill his lungs and images of his appointment filled his head. 11AM, 123 45th Street, corner of 6th Avenue, Suite 789: sounded like something dreamlike or out of a children’s cartoon. His watch read 10:45AM, fifteen minutes to go. In Jeff’s profession it never paid to be early. Still, fifteen minutes was a lot of time to kill. It took him about 2-3 minutes to finish off a smoke and he didn’t feel like smoking anymore right now. What to do to stave off boredom? A moment to ponder interrupted by a buzzing inside his coat pocket: his cell phone to the rescue. He pulled it out and scanned the screen. A call was coming through; the number was unfamiliar but local.

“Hello?”
“Do you sell chicken rice?” a woman’s voice, yet raspy like she had been smoking for a while.
Wrong number “ummm…Excuse me?”
“Do you sell chicken rice?”
“No.”
“Pretty certain of that huh?”
“Yes.”
“Not in the mood for talking then?”
“Aren’t you interested in your chicken rice?”
“True. Do you want to know what I’m thinking about?”
“Not really.”
“I’m thinking about why you are continuing this conversation when it seems to be going nowhere and I’m talking about chicken rice. How about you?
“I’m wondering which hospital let you out prematurely.”
“Nice.”
“Are we done here?” his voice was definitely indicating a newly formed lack of patience.
“As long as you are sure you don’t sell chicken rice.”
“No,” and he closed his phone.

More pointlessness. The sheer amount of pointlessness that seemed to permeate every aspect of Jeff’s life was increasing at a shocking rate. A quick glance at his watch revealed it to be 10:49. He turned his feet and slowly starting walking down the street. At such a slow pace, one begins to notice the comings and goings of everyday life. Walking past him were unhappy businessmen, sleepy college students, balding lawyers, loveless dentists, conspiring bus drivers, horny candy store owners, scheming politicians, a veritable potpourri of the city. They streamed by him without a second though, man, woman, child, all move down the street focused entirely on their world, problems, ideas, themselves. Jeff moved silently through this crowd of self-indulgence without giving it a moment’s thought. The wind blew, the birds flew, the water flowed into the sewer, the traffic lights changed and managed the flow of traffic, the city breathed with life as Jeff walked down the street, yet none of it fazed him. He simply existed through this sea of life and made his way to his destination.

Laying about 20 or 25 stories in the sky, the building itself, was neither tall nor noticeable, it simply was. Its dark grey walls emanated the appearance of 70 years of rain, snow, wind and pollution, yet they remained, a monument to the architect’s strength of design. Jeff stopped in front to smoke a cigarette and gazed at the sky. The security guard walked by, a suspicious glare filled his eyes. Like the building, the man was nothing that stuck out. Dark skinned, older, average height and built, he walked past Jeff as he was inhaling for the third time off of his smoke. Nicotine filled his lungs and senses, fresh cancer polluting that which was giving him life. He finished and moved off to the entrance. A glass door revealed a lobby of sections and security checkpoints. He was ushered to a guard at a desk, a small swivel digital camera stand in front of pointing in Jeff’s face.

“Jeff Mavin”
“Na… where are you going?”
“Claudia Regalus, New Software.”
“Purpose of visit?” he picked the side of his nose as he struggled with Jeff’s last name on the keyboard. Jeff simply starred at him.
“Purpose of visit?”
Jeff’s eyes didn’t blink, he simply starred.
“Can’t let you up witho….” A ringing phone interrupted the guard.
“Yes sir….I understand sir…..that’s not standard pro……okay sir…..yes sir I understand….yes, I’ll send him right up.”
A small sticker like pass printed out. The guard handed it to him and pointed in the direction of the elevator.
“Take the far elevator up to the 17th floor. Someone will be there to meet you.”
“Thanks,” Jeff tucked the ID in his coat pocket and moved on. He looked at the different people walking past him. Mostly business people, a few blue-collars to be seen doing various support roles. At least one attractive woman walked by, her fair complexion glowed in the warm sunlight bathing through the lobby windows. She gave a small smile when their eyes met. Jeff didn’t look back.

The plain elevator played no music, offered no TV with news or information and included no company for the ride. Jeff watched the old style dial show the floors as they rose through the bowels of the steel and concrete beast, the number 13 absent for obvious and not so obvious reasons.

The door opened on the 17th floor with a loud ding. He exited to find a woman waiting for him.

“Mr. Mavin?”
“That’s me,” his voice coming out unexpectedly gruff.
“I’m Susan Jameson, Ms. Regalus’ assistant. This way please.” And off she went first directing him through a set of double doors, an elegantly decorated reception area and down the maze of cubicles. Susan was tall and slim, her two piece grey suit hugged her curves perfectly didn’t leave much to Jeff’s imagination. She had a slight sway when she walked, as if showing off the merchandise. Her hair was tied up in a bun, a set of thick rimmed glasses completed her look, only the top button between the collar was open. She made some small talk with Jeff about the building and the company. New Software was just that, a company which developed new types of software and sold the pieces to larger companies. Components of many of today’s popular programs and operating systems were designed here, by their engineers, Jeff learned. After what seemed like two hours of walking, Susan stopped at the door to an office.

“Go in and have a seat, Mr. Mavin. Ms. Regalus will be with you in a moment.”
Jeff tipped the brim of his hat and mumbled thank you as the shapely woman walked off. Entering the large office he noticed the clear view of the city out the main window. The desk was clutter with papers and computer items, a laptop partially buried. He moved over to the chair opposite the desk, removed his coat and hat to the coat stand near the door and sat down, making himself comfortable with his legs crossed.

“I hope you don’t mind if I smoke,” a soft female voice said from behind him as the door closed. He continued to face the desk and window behind it. “It’s turning out to be one of those days.”
“Only if you can give me a light.”
“Done,” she dropped a small translucent lighter onto his lap. He glanced at it for a second and looked up finding a familiar red dress refilling his vision. The woman, this Ms. Regalus, looked out the window, with her arms folded as she dragged her smoke. It’s a lovely day isn’t, Mr. Mavin?”
His third of the day lit, he took a drag and replied, “that it is.”
She turned to him and made eye contact. “I want to thank you for coming on such short notice. I know your policy on such things, but this is an emergency.”
“You were lucky I was free.”
“Quite, but do you know why I’ve called you here?”
“Not a lot of pre-information in my line of work.”
“True,” she sat and put out her cigarette. The two made eye contact. “I have an assignment for you.”
“Which is?”
“Something you have never done before.”
“Don’t take this the wrong why, but I here that a lot.”
She raised an eyebrow as she took another drag, as if to say ‘is that so?’ So you won’t do it?
“You didn’t tell me what it was you wanted.”
“We have a situation that requires your special skill set, and we can compensate you for it.” Jeff took another drag and focused his sight on her. She was attractive. Bright blue eyes that starred back like the sky on a summer’s day, long dark hair, he wasn’t sure if he was focusing on her words or herself.
“What’s the job?”
“Well,”
“No. No stories, dramas, nothing, cut to the chase.”
“Mr. Mavin, trust me, this is a story you need to hear.”

Battlestar Galactica

Battlestar Galactica. Its an unbelievably good show. Now first off a lot of you who are reading this are probably saying that it’s campy Sci-Fi crap, and well many of you are partially right. The original series was campy, but had an interesting, albeit pseudo Christian, storyline. Some of the acting was sub-par and it was not really believable to think Starbuck retired his space wings to later blow up stuff with the A-Team.

The new series, or rather re-imagining, however is unbelievable. And in my post-24 world (sorry I’ve devoted 100 hours to the show already and the storyline patterns are just too blatantly obvious now), I need a good show with an interesting storyline to hold my interest. Here’s a brief synopsis:

The humans build a race of robots called the Cylons to make life on the Twelve colonies of mankind easier. Man actually colonized 13 planets when leaving their original home on the planet Kobol, but no one has heard from the thirteen colony except they know it’s called Earth. Anyway, the Cylons rebelled and they two sides fought a bloody war. When victory seemed unlikely, the two signed an armistice and the Cylons left for a world to call their own. 40 years later, they return and nuke the hell out of the colonies. 50,000 people aboard a number of ships escape, being protected by one of the oldest capital ships in the fleet, the Battlestar Galactica.

The show is the story of this retag fleet and their flight across space, battling, the Cylon’s ships and weapons, political conflicts, Cylon infiltrators, terrorists and mentally unstable doctors. The storyline is dark and well written, while unlike the original series, the main characters have flaws and make mistakes. Alcoholic Executive Officers, inhuman admirals, conscious tortured evil hot Asian girl robots, the standard archetypes are shot to hell in this one and maybe that’s why its such a popular show. The characters seem more real, their situation not so unfamiliar.

Why should you watch it? There are so many reasons I wouldn’t know where to begin, but suffice it to say it’s a great show. If that’s not enough, than know that it’s one of the highest ranking shows on American TV ratings these days and it available for a very cheap download on iTunes. Also, its damn good television, which as far as I’m concerned today this is very little of!

Comic Movies

Hope you weren’t sick of them yet, the comic book movies are still around in full force. This summer expect to see two sequels which I am very excited about and finally some more information is materializing about what is expected to be ‘07’s biggest movie.

X3: The Last Stand, is set to come out on May 27^th and the city is loaded with posters of the various characters posing next to the taglines: Make a Stand. Here I have pics of Wolverine and Jean Grey and I also happened to glimpse one of Storm (of course I want to see naked pictures of Haley Berry form Swordfish!) on the side of a building while come back from Comic-Con. I don’t know much about the story expect the war between humans and mutants will jump into full force and I’m expecting a lot of action. The only problem is that Bryan Singer, who was responsible for X-Men and X2, is so busy with the next movie on my list and has nothing to do with X3. It’s being run by Brett Ratner, whose only really big previous film is Rush Hour 2. The previews look okay, but you never know. Guess I can wait until May to find out.



Superman Returns: I’ve probably spoken about this a few times already and it was my trailer of the month a few months back, but I’m very excited about this. Bryan Singer is a great director, if you have any doubt about this then go and rent The Usual Suspects. The story, which assumes Superman III and IV didn’t happen and vaguely references to Superman II, is kinda a new sequel to the original Superman film by Richard Donner with Christopher Reeve. In this new story, Superman leaves Earth for a while and comes back to find the world seems to be managing without him. To boot, Lois Lane has moved on and had a baby with someone else. Many people are a little worried about the new Superman actor, Brandon Routh, but I have a lot of faith in Singer. Take me away, my friend.




Spiderman 3: Not much is know about this summer 2007 blockbuster, except the photo I have included next to this paragraph, which, to many is an indication that Spiderman 3 could be the darkest of the series so far. Although, I never exactly thought of part 2 as a happy movie. There are many rumors flying around about who will be the bad guys around in this installment, will it be Sandman, Eletro, Venom? Some rumors even suggest that James Franco will dawn his father’s Green Goblin mask and rebirth the character, possibly at the end of the movie, setting up number 4. At least Kirsten Dunst, is back.





Ironman: another Marvel favorite that seems to have been in negotiator forever, Ironman tells the story of billionaire Tony Stark, who turns his equipment to keep his heart running well into a summer suit to battle enemies. The story is way beyond me at this point as I got out of comics a long time ago and never really read much Ironman, except in the crossover comics. Perhaps even more interesting than the numerous directors who have been named to the project are the possiblies of who will play the somewhat average, yet rich, blonde, heart-diseased billionaire, most notiably among them are Leonardo DiCapiro and Tom Cruise.

Comic-Con

I went, but I was coursed! Just kidding, Mike and Angela extended the invite on Thursday because they were buying tickets online and figured that was a good time to invite me. Mike and patience are not a combination that is created on a regular basis. NY Comic-Con, or New York Comic Book Convention, is exactly that, a large gathering of creators and resellers of comic books, related materials, toys, etc, all in one large hall under the Javits Convention Center. And the place was packed.

First a few gripes. This place was the most disorganized mess of an event I have ever been to. Maybe we showed up at opening, but it was apparent during the first few hours of the day that no one had any idea what the hell was going on (paraphrased from Mike). Lines seemed to be forming just to get out of the Center, entrance bracelets were being handed out at random to people who may or may not have had tickets (we did). Finally, the game section (which sucked so badly I didn’t take any pictures) was completely separate from the rest of the show and required an exit and reentrance of the building to find.

The show had many things of mention. First up were huge displays by the big players, Marvel, DC and Dark Horse. Many artists were on hand to autograph comics, although I couldn’t grab anyone to comment on the awful, yet hysterical Japanese Spiderman. Also enjoyable were the large number of resellers specializing in older comics, featuring a ton I had never seen before. Plenty of toy shops were around, providing things like this, and that. Fans filled the ranks with a large number of costumes from various places, including one excellent Marine from Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. Don’t forget clothing. I’m not sure which shirt I like better. I should have bought one…. Japanese manga even made an appearance with a small shop straight from a Japanese company feature books and statuettes. I had a very interesting conversation with an Osakajin who happened to be working at the desk. Still, she couldn’t answer the question as to why most of the Japanese in NYC live in Astoria. The last thing I forget to mention were the Lego statues, Batman and random gargoyle dude #1.

Overall it was a fun day. If I go back tomorrow, which is highly unlikely, who wants a Christ t-shirt?

Movies You Should See

Some of my favorites. I have probably have told you about them either here or in person. Any additions? Just comment:

Zoolander: possibly the most underrated Ben Stiller movie of all time, Zoolander bombed in the box office, but I feel it’s superior to DodgeBall in many ways. Reasons to watch it: its story is great; Ben Stiller plays a great underdog, and moron fashion model; a large number of twists and turns you won’t be expecting; it has Owen Wilson as a great supporting role; the list of cameos is huge: Jerry Stiller, Billy Zane, Vince Vaughn, Dennis Rodman, to name a few; one word: Magnum.


Unbreakable: a letdown to some, but I still feel this pseudo comic book flick starring Bruce WillisSamuel L. Jackson is some of their best work. As with all M. Night Shyamalan movies, you won’t be expecting the ending at all. It’s not quite a twist that will shock you, but you won’t be expecting it. To sum up the story, just imagine two sides that are not only opposite in mind but in body as well and you begin to see the two main characters: Willis, who couldn’t be damaged by a train wreck (literally) and Jackson, who breaks bones from stepping too hard.


Casshern: hasn’t actually made it to US shores yet, but expect it soon. Casshern is a reimagining of a 1970s Japanese action anime about a half robot/half human man who fits giant robots. The new version of the story makes about half as much sense, but it’s the style that is more important. Each shot is crafted carefully fit into the whole of the movie, using a color grading that not only gives each scene a unified meaning but blends the characters into the world making them seem a little more surreal rather than the world more real (very different from the disappointing Aeon Flux). This movie is also filled with a who’s who of the current Japanese acting world, including the very nice Mayumi Sada and Kumiko Aso.


The Warriors: 1970s cult classic about gang warfare in New York City. Required for anyone who wants a good idea of what the city looked like during its dark days and through the Dinkins era. The story is loosely based on Xenophon's "Anabasis", the account of an army of Greek mercenaries who, after aligning themselves with Cyrus the Younger in the battle of Cunaxa (401 BC) in his attempt to seize the Persian throne, found themselves isolated behind Persian enemy lines. Their battle over 1000 miles of hostile territory to make it to the sea strongly parallels the journey of the Warriors over the expanse of NYC from the South Bronx all the way to Coney Island.


Shawn of the Dead: Somewhat low brow take on the whole zombie horror genre which I feel is getting a little too old anyway. I still think if I saw one crawling out of my television I would start punching the shit out of them rather than cowering in fear and waiting for them to come to me. Set in England and released conspicuously near the excellent 28 Days Later, Shawn and his friends get trapped in a zombie filled London, where comedy ensues and after the rescue, zombies are kept around to fulfill certain tasks and play the occasional game of soccer on PS2.

Batman and Robin: Actually many will laugh at this and I think not everyone should watch this, but for anyone who is ever planning to do anything involving some kind of motion picture camera and film, you need to watch this to see how not to do things! If I ever see another movie as bad as this I will never watch another movie again.

Nothingness

I have absolutely nothing to say today. And maybe that in itself is indicative of something. Could it be that I am speechless? Is it possible? Well, no not really since I am writing this, basically about nothing. So what should I write about? My mind is basically blank. There has been nothing gleaming in the news today that makes me feel like writing, nor has anything very exciting happened in my life.

Work is the same, nothing too exciting, although tomorrow I may be purchasing three new laptops and software for one of our clients. It is fun to go shopping for computer parts and supplies, even if they aren’t yours. In actuality, a computer requires a lot of work and time to work well and the way you want to. While I like putting in the time to make my computer “mine,” it’s still a lot to do. Case in point the system in front of me now: the same laptop that I have had for nearly three years. It still runs very well, and a RAM and HDD upgrade have increased its usability quite a bit. But, I have installed Windows three times on this system, first two for periodic hard drive wipes, the second to install a new hard drive.

I would love to upgrade to something faster, but will I notice the difference? Will Paint Shop Pro or the Flash plug-in on load faster or look cooler? Probably not. I know a few games will run better and I will be able to run the high rez quicktime movies smoothly. I’ll have more hard drive space, or windows might load quicker, etc. Yet, I don’t care so much, I’m content. The scary thing is that 3 years ago I wasn’t content with a computer for this long. I can’t imagine having owned this system for so long, it’s scary. I still look at it and think: it’s a cool looking system that runs well. This contentness is something I have never been in the world of computers, something that runs through my mind every time I buy or install a new system, peripheral or cool new piece of software that I would like to have. Something I don’t think I want or am ready for...

In retrospect, I found something to write about.

Do you care though?

Food

What more can I say to you?

This is the place you want to go to. Burgers and Pizza? These are perhaps my two favorite foods in the world. And in a place named Nick’s? I’m speechless.

By the way, it’s on W70th and

The Big Thaw

The last few days have been like none I have ever noticed in the city. As many of you know, last Sunday we had one of the biggest snowstorms on record, almost 27” of snow were dropped on NYC and I had to shovel a lot of packed ice. This has been swiftly and immediately proceeded by what many are calling Great Thaw ’06.

Like the rest of this year’s winter, the past week has been unseasonably warm and the city has been thawing ever since Tuesday. The, perhaps, most remarkable effect of this warm weather is watching, and feeling, the snow melt off the buildings and make small rainstorms on every street, not to mention the large lakes that fill the places where the sidewalk corners used to be. So far, I have had to clean the salt stains off my shoes three times this week. And getting pelted on the exact middle of your head, or right where you coat exposes the back of your neck, with a big drop of water is not fun. What were what piles of snow on Monday have returned to being cars by today, while the Meter Maids are back in full effect, apparently snow is no longer a valid excuse for leaving your car in the same place for 2 months.

On Wednesday, I was lucky enough to be able to spend an hour or so in Bryant Park typing away on my work laptop and experiencing the weird mix of cool breezes, warm sun and melting conditions. If you go to Manhattan anytime soon, I highly recommend you chill out for a coffee or just a seat in the park. You’ll come for the scenery, which is nice, and you’ll stay for the free wireless internet.


Wisdom of the Day: Everyone needs a lil’ somethan’ somethan’ every now and then.

Why You Should Trust Me

The reason is simple: because so many other people do. A recent sampling from my Yahoo! mail confirms this. Within the past week I have been contacted by no less than 27 persons, of position and power, looking for help with managing money, protecting their money from devious sources, moving cash away from shady royalty and saving the revolution, which I have on very good sources, will be televised.

Here I have included some excerpts from various mails to show why I am so trustworthy. Dr. Aliyu Karim of the Ministry of Finance of Nigeria, writes:
Myself and three other colleagues in this department are currently in need of a silent foreign partner whose bank account we can use to transfer the sum of Eighteen Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S. dollars(us$18,500,000.00). This fund accrued legitimately (but discretely) to us as commission from foreign contracts, though our private connections. The fund is presently waiting to be remitted by our offshore funds managers to any foreign beneficiary submitted by us to them as the receiver of the fund. I have been delegated as a matter of trust by my colleagues, to look for an overseas silent partner in whose account we would transfer the US $18,500,000.00 for mutual benefit, hence the reason for this email. What I am requesting from you is: (1) To be our silent partner and receive the funds in your account in trust. (2) Provide a bank account under your control to which the funds will be remitted.(3)Receive the funds in your account, take out your commission and keep the rest of the money until I arrive there to meet you after the transfer is completed.

The beautiful Princess Fayad W. Bolkiah writes:
As a result of the Asian financial crisis that made my husband's company (Amedeo development company) and other government owned Brunei investment company to be cleared bankrupt during his tenure in office. However, my husband is in jail now, his bank account and private properties including a crude oil export refinery have been confiscated by the sultanate. I am now kept under house arrest by the sultan and I have no access to a phone but I have a palm v hand-held computer from which I am sending you this mail proposal. As it is now, I was lucky to dispatch the total sum of fifty million united state dollars, right before my in-castration, the funds is in cash under the special arrangement into the custody of different private security and Trustee Company for safe keeping abroad. This action was on the order of my husband to me to enable us start a new life. the money where spitted and kept in the following countries in this proportion; ten million us dollars is in Canada, fifteen million us dollars in South Africa, five million is in Bangkok, Thailand, eight million us dollars in Dubai and the balance of fifteen million us dollars is in Europe. Hence I seek your good assistance to invest these funds into profitable investment in your country to facilitate future survival for my family abroad.

Paul Edward, Manager of bill and exchange Foreign Operations Department of Natwest London writes:
In my department we discovered an abandoned sum of £10.5million British Pounds Sterling (Ten million five hundred thousand British Pounds) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers Late Mr. Morris Thompson an American who unfortunately lost his life in the plane crash of Alaska Airlines Flight 261 which crashed on January 31 2000, including his wife and only daughter. You shall read more about the crash on visiting this site which I got during my investigation; Since we got information about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin or relatives to come over and claim his money because we cannot release it unless somebody applies for it as next of kin or relation to the deceased as indicated in our banking guidelines. Unfortunately I learnt that his supposed next of kin being his only daughter died along with him in the plane crash leaving nobody with the knowledge of this fund behind for the claim. It is therefore upon this discovery that I and two other officials in this department now decided to make business with you and release the money to you as the next of kin or beneficiary of the funds for safety keeping and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and we don’t want this money to go back into Government treasury as unclaimed bill. The banking law and guidelines here stipulates that such money remained after five years the money will be transferred into banking treasury as unclaimed funds.

I didn’t even know we were related.

Finally, Barrister Musa Douglas (what’s a Barrister?) the Personal Attorney to late JILL MCCARTHY, the relative whose name is spelled in caps and I never knew I had, writes:
On the 3rd of Oct 2000, my client, and his family were perished in a ghastly car accident along Midombo Togo express way. But my client made a fixed deposit valued at (USD $27.950,000.00) , Twenty Seven Millions Nine hundred and Fifty Thousand United States Dollars and upon the maturity this bank started contacting him but no response. Consequently, the bank issued me a notice to provide the next of kin or have the account confiscated after four years, as the law of this land says. Since then have made several enquiries to your Embassy to locate any of my clients extended relatives, this has also proved unsuccessful. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the relatives for over two years now I seek your consent to present you as the next of kin of the deceased since you are from the same country and also bears the same last name, so that the proceeds of this account valued at $27.950 can be paid to you and then you and me can share the money.

Strangely enough, the Barrister can’t spell to save his life. I fixed it for him. But this doesn’t impact the email in any noticeable way.

With this many people, and many more, who trust me so much, shouldn’t you? If you want my bank account number to help you with your money issues, simple send me an email and transfer it to this account: Bank Name: First American National Do You Think I’m An Idiot? Bank of America, Account Number: 6969696969696969112


Wisdom of the Day: If they say they are a big breasted beautiful lesbian, you should believe them.

Supa-Fave

Have a good look at this guy. This is Rob. Rob is my favorite person! Don’t try to deny us the title of best favorites in the world. We are far superior to those wannabe favorites: Mike and Anne. That’s all I got to say!

Wisdom of the Day: Women don’t like to be hit on in the gym.

Happy V-Day

Happy Valentine’s Day! What I am doing today? I’m not telling, and it’s none of your business, so stop asking!

Actually, did you know that today is the most stressful day of the year for American men? In a recent online survey, over 92% of men said that they find Valentine’s Day to be the most stressful of all relationship related holidays, more than birthdays, anniversaries or weddings. Why is this? Many men sited that the shear number of possibilities on this holiday cause them to break down when making a decision on what to do. Making their women happy, on this occasion, doesn’t mean just dinner and sex.

In Japan, however, Valentine’s Day is very different. The first part of this paragraph will be very pleasing to American men, but make sure to finish reading it!!! On Valentine’s Day in Japan, the women give the men chocolate or some other form of present, usually chocolate related. The men have to do nothing, but receive it, and in the rare case that it is crap or the girl made it and it tastes like ass, they have to smile. But don’t forget White Day. White Day is a commercially made-up Japanese version of our Valentine’s Day, where all prices increase 15% and Japanese men are expected to do the same thing that we do today.

See, I told you to read to the end of the paragraph. So what does all this mean? It means that if you want to escape this holiday (of which I will say nothing bad!) then don’t go to Japan.


Wisdom of the Day: If you value your feet, stay away from the sweets sections of the following stories today: Mini-Stop, Hankyu Department Store, Nick’s Chocolate Emporium, Takashimaya, Hanshin Department Store, Tokyu Hands, Loft, Kintetsu Department Store, Family Mart, Yodobashi Camera, Lawson and Circle K.

Kwan Departs, Miki Stays

With perhaps the most graceful and amazing departure in Olympic figure skating history that I have seen (all three days of it), over the weekend American figure skater Michelle Kwan withdrew from the Torino Olympics without even competing once.

In the end, Kwan was done in by her own body. Having suffered multiple injuries over her career, which is renown for her skill to rise to the occasion and adapt to new situations quickly and with ease (like it says about me in my resume), Kwan, who was never afraid of the competition, is already a multi-millionaire from the sport, had already devoted the majority of her 25 years to figure skating. She pulled out of the Olympics feeling that her pain would not allow her to give the effort she feels the event deserves.

For me, this is a breath of relief, for I no longer have to worry about whether I would root for her or the far cuter, yet much less American, Miki Ando. I wonder if she is doing anything this weekend?


Wisdom of the Day: Triple up the socks in a blizzard.

Snow Day

And what a day it was. I spent nearly 4 hours shoveling snow from three different houses and I know that tonight I will sleep well. I also inhaled a large number of cookies so that will probably negate the workout I got, but no matter.

After the shoveling I strolled, or rather climbed around Bay Ridge and took a number of pictures for all of you snow deprived people. Here you the entrance to the large Shore Road park, where I used to play baseball and broke my leg right before I moved to Japan; next up, Alexis’ grandmother’s yard, it’s friggin’ huge!; shots of the highway with the Verrazano Bridge in the background; around the neighborhood and to Hollywood Video with Aunt Margaret, Uncle Jimmy and cousin Andrew; the old job; and finally the ultimate in cold weather underwear. Don’t leave home without it.


Wisdom of the Day: Okay this one is serious, shovel early and often, or less it will weight like a gazillion pounds (.45359237 gazillion kilograms).

Stuff and Junk (2)

So much to say, yet so little is coherent, today is more of an observation of things I have seen and done recently rather than anything relevant. Actually I have two posts in mind which I feel will be very funny and will be done as soon as I get my lazy ass around to taking some pictures to go with them. Which would mean that a digital camera instead of the Video iPod I have been eyeing would be the more prudent purchase, but we'll see.

Anyway, first off gym issues. I will please some of my readers by stating that I actually went to the gym three times this week. Two of which were full on cardio sessions, because of time constraints, while today's was a full-on hour and a half for the whole kit and kaboodle. Basically my main issue is that the treadmill I was on had a TV that was stuck on C-SPAN. For those of you who are not familiar with C-SPAN, it's the channel that covers and broadcasts the most boring aspects of American politics you could ask for. This morning's program, which I wish I could remember the name, focused on a single topic: What is Leadership?, where people would call and give there opinion while the host would sit at his desk overlooking Capital Hill and underline things important to him in newspapers. Riveting. Fortunately the Stairmaster's TV was fine and I could watch old Britney Spears videos on the Sports Club channel.

After the gym, as I began my walk to work I walked past a place that appeared to have take-out sushi in a display near the window. When I returned for lunch I found out that it is actually a Japanese style convenient store called JAS Mart. Inside I found a similar offering to what is available in Family Market. For anyone interested, it's on 23rd Street near the start of Madison Avenue. Once again, Asian fetishists, need not apply.

Now I'm finishing up some installations at work and about to head out for drinks with Ed.

Have a fun weekend! I will!


Wisdom of the Day: Keep your opinions about Asian women to yourself.

Mussolini kept the trains on time

Why can't Bloomberg? The MTA, which went on strike late last year, cost the city a billion dollars in lost revenues, and usually associated with the smell of dog feces, never ceases to amaze me. No matter how early I wake up, I always manage to get to Union Square station at 6:30AM. The goal, of course is to go there earlier to get more gym time. But of course it doesn't work that way. The mythical schedule, which I've been assured exists, must change everyday. Actually according to Nintendo, the MTA schedule will be a quest item in the new Zelda game.

The best has to be the inexplicable line changes. The R goes express for no reason, or, at least, the same reason the N will go local. Trains stop on the middle of the Manhattan bridge for 10 minutes, while others pass right by. Jay used to be exempt from being on time to class because he lived on the R line. At least its cleaner than the A, C or E.

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have the 4, 5 and 6 trains, which are amazing. The 6 is a local train which runs about 20 stops in Manhattan and can run the course of the island (11 miles?) In about 35-40 minutes max. This is impressive for Japan, astonishing for NYC.

Finally, the G train, the only train going from Brooklyn to Queens which doesn't travel through Manhattan. Yes, it does exist, I tried it once. But according to the tale, most adult males will only see 2 or 3 in their lifetime. And apparently the conductors take coffee breaks in between stations. That was definitely worth a strike.


Wisdom of the Day: The average adult needs 6-7 hours of sleep a night. 6-7 hours, not 2 1/2.

Busy Times

Whew... Work is busy. Although this is something I expected, I didn't expect to be so poor at time management. I go to sleep early, get up very early for work and get home usually after 7PM. While this is not so unusual, the problem is that I continue to make social appointments and basically never leave a night to just relax and maybe play the new game I just bought: DragonQuest VIII.

Don't think of me as an Otaku just yet, the main reason I bought this was to stay home and try to relax more and spend less money going out. Here's the current situation: last night I had dinner with Dustin and his cousin and my good friend, Andrea, who lives in California but is in town for Fashion Week. Tonight is (or was depending on when I post this and when you read it) my company's slightly delayed New Year's party at a restaurant called Blue Smoke (hmmm... meat). Wednesday or Thursday will be games and pizza with Ryu, while Friday Ed is coming into Brooklyn and promises he is meeting us for drinks.

So all my efforts to make this week into a good, stay at home and not drink or spend too much money week, have all but evaporated. I guess there will be plenty of time to stay home when I'm older and/or married.

I don't really want sympathy, maybe just an extra day in the week, scratch that: weekend. Or maybe just an extra two or three hours in the day for sleep. That's not too much to ask is it? The only pissed off people will be the writers of 24.


Wisdom of the Day: Wiseman Douglas says: forgiveness is divine, but never stay home when you have an opportunity to go out.

Far Away

For all none Americans, yesterday was the Super Bowl, which is, perhaps, the biggest sporting and party event of the entire American calendar year. It’s estimated that 40% more pizzas are consumed on that day than any other during the year. And for most of us it’s an excuse to have or go to a party. I went to Dustin's place.

While Dustin and his place in particular, are known for a good party, he is not a big football fan, which is fine as neither am I. What it did turn into was a sort of reunion of some people who had worked together at a small place in Bay Ridge called Unos. Of course, the usual happened at said party, we ate, drank, caught up and traded Unos stories (I could tell you quite a few...). While it was great to see my friends and hang out, I did feel far away from Japan. I can't quite explain it, but Bay Ridge feels so small to me now. I realized that in some ways, subconsciously, I have moved on and started to commit myself to my new life, yet in others I'm still there or long to be. I still hang out with some Japanese people here and try to speak and read the language. We go for sushi or more authentic izakayas in Manhattan. I guess my problem is that Japan is too far away. If only I was from California, or if they could use tug boats to bring Japan closer to the continental US. And now I'm starting to plan my vacation. In my company I have to use my vacation time, so a two week or so romp through Japan sounds great.

Still, the earliest this would be is October. I have a long way to go. And of course the fear of liking it too much, or of building it up in my mind and then being disappointed or having to end too quickly, etc. Anyway, if you're my friend living in Japan, pencil me in for lunch or a drink around the middle of October when I stop by Osaka.


Wisdom of the Day: Absence makes the heart come back.

If you want to meet Tom Cruise while in NYC...

While roaming for the hour or so I had in between jobs today, I ran across something that I did not think existed in NYC, a Church of Scientology Celebrity Center. Now many people feel these things are the stuff of myth and legend, having now seen my second one (first one in LA) I can say they really do exist and they give free personality tests and tons of pamphlets.

What is Scientology, you say? According to them, its America's fastest growing religion, although America's fastest growing language is Klingon, so that's not saying much. According to many science fiction readers, it’s a made-up religion, created by L. Ron Hubbard in response to a bet laid down by his old friend Robert Heinlein, who wrote the book "Stranger in a Strange Land”, in response to keep up his side of the bet (highly recommended!). According to Tom Cruise and John Travolta, it’s about very tall space aliens, who resemble Forest Whitaker, fighting long haired cave men in 500 year old F-15s, don’t forget the other aliens, created by Steven Spielberg, who forgot to take their flu shots. According to my good friend Mike Orso (the following has been paraphrased), it’s an organization for in-the-closet homosexuals who pay a lot of money to be "cured."

I don't know what it is, but if you want to find out and get a free personality test in the process, go to 82nd and Park and have a visit. I might if I have 5 minutes to spare. Anyway, I always wanted to see how tall Tom really is in person.


Wisdom of the Day: It’s not really over until the 5th reboot.

Hello February

How are ya? Its been at least a year since we last met.

February is best known as the month of increasing snowfalls, increasing waistlines and increasing Valentine's Day-related stress headaches. In this month 1 may be the loneliest number but its also the richest and happiest. I guess I have just never been fond of Valentine's Day. This would usually be the part where I break off into a thing about the history of said holiday and maybe include a Wikipedia link or something. But you won't read it and I don't care so much. Not quite as Japan, however we are, since they have separate holidays for the girls to give cheap chocolate and homemade cookies (Valentine's Day - February 14th) and one for the guys to buy expensive presents, take their girls to fancy restaurants and/or the social outing of their choice and not go drinking with their friends for a month (White Day - March 14th).

In other news I didn't watch Bush's State of the Union Address and I doubt I missed much. I did enjoy Munich, although I'd like to slap whoever in Hollywood that said three hour movies are okay on a regular basis. I'd also like to take this opportunity to mention how often I have been typing my posts up on my Blackberry on the subway on the way to or from work. It’s a welcome convenience. As if working with computers all day wasn't going to cause me enough pain in the future! Thanks Carpal Tunnel! (Oh yeah? Spell this!).


Wisdom of the Day: Children have been known to put a damper on social lives.

Truly the Last

While making my way back to the office on Tuesday I discovered what is possibly the very last publicly viewable Christmas decoration in all of New York City:

Its February guys! That's all I have to say...

Wisdom of the Day: It takes a big man to admit he's wrong and an even bigger man to finish a big boy breakfast at IHOP.