If Eyebrows Could Speak

Do you like watching the news? Okay, really I don't either, but its slowly become a morning ritual of mine to turn on NY1 and see what's happening.

For those of you who have never lived in New York, NY1 is an all-day news network focused primarily on NYC. While they do occasionally show happenings from other places (the recent budget crisis in Puerto Rico) the focus is here. Which brings me to one of their correspondents, George Whipple.

I've never seen this man before in any capacity except for recently on NY1's movie reviews and entertainment segments. As for his biography and background, I'll leave it up to Google. The most important topic here are those masses of fur and hair attached directly below his forehead: eyebrows, if they can be called that. They are absolutely huge. Much larger than either Unibrau or the Unibrowed security guard at one of my client's businesses. Bigger than Lou Albano's mustache on the Super Mario Bros. Super Show. Bigger than even all the hair on Robin William's body. These eyebrows could cook you dinner and hold the fork for you while you eat and play games. The Google image search I did was far too hideous to show here. Let’s just say that those have never, ever been trimmed.

Don't believe me? Watch for yourself and see. At least you might be lucky enough to spot the lovely Sandra Endo.