Genki Yade!

Which is Osaka dialect for I’m great. Anyway, as some of you know here in Japan exists a wide variety of small vitamin, caffeine and nicotine based drinks designed to wake you up and give you the energy you would need if you happen to be a Japanese salaryman stuck in a dead end job which you hate with a wife whom you haven’t made love to in years.

I’m just speaking the truth. Anyway, being an English teacher in the exciting world of non-drowsy students means I never need to use such products as the energy level of most of my students is so phenomenal that they run the class. But in the interest of information proliferation, I have sampled a number of the most popular drinks and am here to provide you with my thoughts should you ever come to Japan and need to wake up, or if you already live here, are friends with me and finally decided to look at my blog… Note: All listed products are ranked on a scale of 1 to 5 happy Japanese people, 5 being great, 1 being shit:

ESCAP - My current favorite, and of K1 fighters everywhere. While the taste is nearly bearable, only slightly worse the cough medicine from 20 years ago, it does give me the pickup I need for at least 2-3 lesson, approximately one and a half to two hours. Repeated use tends to make the finishing crash more harsh. The website has a catchy theme song though.

3.5 - (not an average)

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ORONAMIN C – The King of flavor. Great for hangovers or any day where you stayed up all night doing something instead of sleeping for the 27 lessons you have to teach for the Pharaoh, who happens to have this particular day off, that runs your English school. Addictive taste and will power you up, repeated use will lead to less and less effect rather rapidly.

5 - (not an average)

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ARINAMIN 7 – A name rip-off of ORONAMIN C without the flavor. It’s not quite as addictive and even if used regularly it’s effects tend to remain at their one to two and a half hour normal stretch. Actually it tastes like ass, dirty at that.

3 - (not an average)

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ARINAMIN V – Got me through four lessons today with the same student who can’t seem to learn anything and makes the same mistakes over and over and over and over and over and over and over, etc. Actually tastes worse than ARINAMIN 7 but gives a good boost for nearly four to five hours.

3.5 - (not an average)

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ESCAP GOLD 3000 – Somewhere in between ORONAMIN C and ESCAP in flavor, ESCAP GOLD 3000 gives you the punch you need to last the day. It’s effects won’t work if you use it too regularly, so save it for that extra busy day of the week. Still like the theme song.

4 - (not an average)

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Regain 3000 – Heavily advertised with baseball players and comes in a sporty yellow plastic wrapper, Regain tastes plain and didn’t do much for me. I assume if I as running or swimming instead of teaching it would have helped more. I was able to jump out of my chair faster to write on the board or watch a cute girl walk down the hall.

2.5 - (not an average)

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REPO Vitamin D – I think the REPO stands for repossess, but can’t be for certain as it’s written in Japanese. Tasted a little too beefy for a liquid. Similar effects to ARINAMIN 7.

2 - (not an average)

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REPO Vitamin 11 – Different types of Vitamins from the D, but still tasted strange. To define this would be akin to defining what made Camus strange. Therefore I won’t try. Didn’t feel too much in the long run.

1.5 - (not an average)

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REPO Vitamin Super 2000 – Finally a Super Drink! And boy did I feel super, a bit of shakey sensation for all of 20 minutes. Then I crashed and wanted to take a nap in my teacher’s chair. That was really helpful. Thanks guys.

1 - (not an average)

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Weider in Energy – Part of the strange pseudo-jelly drink family, Weider makes a large number of these, it tastes kinda like milk with something unidentifiable in it. As for a boost, well I didn’t feel more energetic but I didn’t feel sleepy either. That works for me.

3.5 - (not an average)

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C1000 Vitamin Lemon – Tastes great, like a glass of lemonade in an 1/8^th of the size bottle. Does absolutely nothing for my energy level.

1.5 - (not an average)

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ESCAP Ever Long – Actually keeps you relatively awake for something like 8 hours and tastes almost identical to ESCAP. While it’s only 16 hours short of a whole day, like the front of the bottle advertises, it’s still pretty good stuff. I save it for those special occasions.

4 - (not an average)

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Wisdom of the Day: Get some sleep and have a good breakfast.