Gaijin Types

Contrary to popular belief there are actually three types of gaijin in that live in Japan. While all live in similar places, eat similar food and even have a similar lifestyle there are some startling differences. My trip today to all mostly gaijin party, with a sprinkling of cute Japanese girls I mean c’mon what party is complete without them, reminded me of the types and the current misconceptions that people living outside Japan have about us non-Japanese living here.

Immersion Type: While kinda few and far between, these gaijin exist for the purely Japanese experience. They have no interest in gaijin bars, parties, social gatherings and even friends in many situations. They tend to look avoid all gaijin contact and even refrain from speaking their native tongue outside of their jobs. They do not like to give the Brotherhood of Gaijin head nod as these walk by (I just don’t like it because I’m from New York) and get very protective of their Japanese girlfriends (this is usually because in their home country they couldn’t get a girlfriend and the fact that they are currently fucking hot Japanese girls gives them a 24-7 hard-on). There are various levels, but on the whole most Immersions avoid all gaijin contact using the excuse of waiting to know the real Japan, which is impossible because they are not Japanese.

Ignorant Type: Being the extreme opposite of the Immersion type, the Ignorants are in Japan for a wide variety of reasons, none of which are living aboard, learning about foreign cultures, studying, learning about Japan and Japanese culture or traveling. A perfect example being a number of male models who’ve I’ve met here. They tend to avoid all idea of speaking Japanese, ignore and laugh at the native people for not speaking their language and have absolutely no consideration for anything around them, including: people, apartments, cars, street corners, old girlfriends, restaurants, other people’s apartments, and generally anything not belonging to them. While slightly more common then the Immersions, they tend to remain in Japan only a short time and basically have a lot of sex and spend too much money increasing their debt to savings ratio by a factor of 27. Some tend to break out of this group when they fall in love and start to really like Japan and then join the Moderate group.

Moderate Type: By far the most populous of the three groups, Moderates come for any number of reasons and embrace the best of the other two types. They tend to speak moderately okay Japanese after a year or so, can handle themselves well in all-Japanese, all-Gaijin and mixed situations and enjoy Japan without abandoning their home culture. On the whole they tend to be respectful of Japanese customs and thinking styles, although a tad critical at times and occasionally obnoxious thanks to the lack of outdoor drinking laws. Moderates make the best friends and roommates in Japan and usually have the best looking girlfriends.

Wisdom of the Day: When you’re abroad don’t be an Ignorant.