The Beginning and the End

Grocery shopping occurred once again today. Sunday is usually my only holiday in the whole week and it's also the only day I go grocery shopping, so I can stock up my refrigerator for week and not have to touch a food store for a while.

Anyway, today while roaming the identical frontiers of the local Kansai Supermarket, I was hit with a startling burst of inspiration. My further roaming of the store and my memories of past visits, as well as previous employment at Key Food in Brooklyn, I have come to realize the universal truth: all life begins and ends in the supermarket. Roam around any supermarket anywhere in the world and tell me what you see the most of. Preserved foods, nah. Frozen-once living items, try again. Freeze-dried somewhat edible food-like things, NO! You will find two things: old people and little children. It seems the pull of the supermarket is so instinctual, so deeply engraved in our minds genetically that we, during our young and elder years, must seek it out and have it consume us as well take in the essence that is the Super-Market.

I was so amazed at this theory that I felt I was not the only one to have discovered it, so using my good friend Google, I searched and uncovered a number of startling facts. The symbiotic relationship between the supermarket and children and old people has been discovered by more than 20 scientists over the course of the past 35 years. There also seems to be a correlation between the size and scope of the Tower of Babel with the number of supermarkets required within a 20 mile square radius of the land within a sovereign nation's borders.

As I'd like to learn more, a major problem permutes this study, namely that fact that most of the scientists involved in the research have died from mysterious circumstances, such as thirst, constant masturbation, Dukes of Hazzard overdose, being healthy and most mysterious of all: Streptococcus Pneumoniae Trigycernictal Mendosal Yaphisatomy. The ones who are still living seem to have vanished from public life in an attempt to hide from the people many believe are hiding this information.

While the organization's official designation is unknown, many believe they are also responsible for perpetrating the hoax leading many to believe that is unhealthy and possible fatal to eat raw uncooked pasta. I will continue to research this topic and post again when I have more information.

Wisdom of the Day: When you think......who keeps knocking at the door?