Where's the beef?

It’s still here apparently. After only a month break in the over two year Japanese ban on US beef imports, not to mention the cessation of the Yoshinoya Gyudon, which provides subsistence to at least 74.6% of Japan’s salarymen, high school students, Otakus and English teachers returning home from a late night of drinking, Japan resumed it’s ban after a small amount of cow spinal matter was found in a US beef export a few days ago, which is supposed to be removed to help prevent the spread of mad cow disease, or as the Japanese refer to it, a normal American personality.

While this news is excellent for the Australians, who use anti-American beef ads frequently to damage the already damaged reputation of American cows, who are the largest in the world and spend the most on their military (UMDI: United Moo Defense Initiative), who now can continue to supply Japan with a majority of it’s beef and still satisfy the other 25%. While this news has devastating effects on US meat producers, the Bush Administration is taking the brunt of the punishment. After a stellar two years with skyrocketing approval ratings, Bush found his numbers pullet on Friday as a result of the renewed ban.

While the range of opinion on this topic is nearly on par with whether Bert and Ernie are gay and if their union is now illegal under the new gay marriage bans, the universally accepted opinion is that is curtains for the Bush Adminstration. One commentator was quoted as: “While many people believed was ready to change the laws and stay for a third term in office, this beefy blow could mean the end of republican power for years to come.” A clone of John Malkovich, who was been unable to find work after starring in the critically acclaimed Being John Malkovich, also added: “Malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich, malkovich malkovich, malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich malkovich, malllllllllllllllllllllllllllkovich!”


Wisdom of the Day: When in doubt, go for Sukiya.