Bad Eigo

The bad English of Japan continues in these beauties I was able to procure over the past few months. As hilarious as these examples and the many more to be found here, it seems that the number and quality has been declining in the past few years. The cause of this seems obvious, the increase in the amount of foreigners moving to Japan and subsequent repairing of Japan's bad English.

What can this mean? Is the future of bad English in Jeopardy??!!!!?!?! Not to worry, as long as Kazuhide is still answering emails, we are all okay:

Dear Sir,
Why do all your tall apartment buildings have such small windows? Where I come from, the windows are bigger and let natural sunlight in. And one more thing: back in my country, we call tall apartments "condominiums", but here in Japan you call them "mansion". I think they are not mansions.
Thanks. Look forward to hearing from you.
-Alan O

Dear Alan,
You are wrong. Tall apartment is called apartment. Condominium is for rich ski family in beach or Colorado. Why you not allow poor salariman to call his small apartment mansion? This is Japan, we calling it mansion. Please to learn Japanese way if you stay here and please don't American arrogance.

Wisdom of the Day: Don't ask Kazuhide, only read